Kids, you gotta stop texting each other pictures of your genitals.
That’s right: we’re talking about sexting.
I’m not saying you gotta be a total square. If you want to hit up a dope night spot and do the Douggie with some fly hottie, God bless you. It’s America.
But like I've said before, romance requires mystery. For instance, hypothetically speaking, I wouldn’t make out with Anne Hathaway. Why? She’s topless in half of her movies. We’ve all seen the twins. Meh. Next, please.
And all this sexting is addictive, kids. In fact, Supreme Court Justices Antonin Scalia and Elena Kagan can’t stop sexting each other -- and they were once arch rivals. Fact.
She sends dirty texts to Scalia.
He sends some right back to Kagan. Vom in your mouth much?
Chief Justice John Roberts got me on Facebook chat yesterday. Told me Scalia and Kagan were sexting each other during the Supreme Court’s Halloween party. John tells them, “Can you guys just stop? You manage the rule of law in the greatest country ever created. Maybe you quit sending each other junk pics.”
Scalia and Kagan punched him, told him to “mind his own,” and then ran into a bathroom with their cell phones.
It’s a bad scene, kids. Keep it clean.
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